It could only get worse Love Hina
by Murto
Summary: I haven't updated yet, for those waiting for the next chapters I say GOMENASAI! I've been hit by Kaolla's "Super Tama Writers Block Ray". Just give me a few weeks, Ne?
1. It was a normal day

It can only get worse.......  
  
Author: Murto (the new fanfic fan on the block)  
  
Author's Notes: My first fanfic, I dunno if you'll find my sense of humour funny, but well here goes. I must say before I start that I have thoroughly enjoyed Silver's and AJ Talon's work so far, along with many other countless authors I've read stuff by. This fanfic of mine is just gonna be another fucked up and hopefully hilarious Love Hina one.  
  
Enjoy, please email your thoughts to "thatsthesoundofinevitability@yahoo.com.au".  
  
PS: Love Hina Spring and Christmas Specials DVD's just came out in Aust. YAY!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina, fortunately for you lot. Otherwise it would have  
gotten very fucked up, VERY quickly. :) Oh well, what can you say.  
I am an Arts student afterall. Nor have I bought the rights to any  
other  
authors, their material or their jokes. Comeon! This is Author  
Space,  
on cyberspace!.  
  
Who cares, as long as we get a laugh!!! =^v^=  
  
BANZAI!!!!  
  
Here we goeses (my preeeeciousssssssss.....)  
  
Ok, seriously now....  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ IT CAN ONLY GET WORSE Chapter 1: It was a normal day.. Version 2  
  
It was an average morning at the Hinata Sou. Motoko was on the roof deck practising her kendo moves, Naru was chasing around Keitaro calling "Hentai- des!" and throwing things at him. Suu and Sarah were coming up with an alibi for the collateral damage another of their Mecha-Tama's caused, and Kitsune was playing cards against Talon....  
  
"Kuso! I'm out again!" cursed Talon.  
  
"Aww, don't take it so harsh," said Kitsune as she took another 1000yen worth of chips into her arms (#1). "You lost fair and square".  
  
"Honestly Kitsune your as annoying at cards as Faye was to Jet in a certain anime I'm thinking of" (#2)  
  
"But that was Mahjong, this is poker and I beat you fair and square. Another round?"  
  
"Yeah, but Mahjong or not, she was cheating. Lemme see those cards!"  
  
"Cheating? Li'l ol' me? I think not Talon-san"  
  
Just at that moment, Keitaro ran down the stairs and jumped clean over the kotatsu where Talon and Kitsune were seated. Talon stood up to see what Keitaro was running so desperately away from, and got firmly smacked into whilst doing so.  
  
"Jeez Naru, you should watch were your goin, the speed that you were goin' someon coulda got hur-" Kitsune said, as she stopped mid-sentece.  
  
Talon, still in weretiger form, had somehow managed to land on top of Naru.  
  
"YOU BASTARD!! GET OUTTA MY WAY!!" screamed the red-head as she promptly brought about sending the first weretiger into space.  
  
"This is annoying, this really is. " Talon complained as he prepared for what might be a painful landing.  
  
As he was flying though he saw something unusual. A car with strange- looking number plates was pulling up in front of the Hinata Sou. Initially, Talon thought that Seta got a new car. After a few seconds of observation, plus the fact that the car in question wasn't bashing into anything, the Seta theory was deduced.  
  
"This is strange, you don't see many cars like those in Japan," he thought " Even those people who could afford to import a car wouldn't stoop THAT low...."  
  
Then he saw the ground was fast approaching, and everything went black along with a loud crunch.  
  
"Waaaahahahahaa!" yelled Talon, in excrutiating pain. "I can't fell my legs!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hmm, this must be the place." thought Murto as he got out of the car.  
  
"Waaaahahahahaa! I can't fell my legs!" was heard off in the distance.  
  
"Ok, I'll just keep walking and pretend that I didn't hear anything."  
  
Murto grabbed his stuff and walked inside. 'Hmm, nobody's around. I guess I'll go straight in, I mean I already know my room number and stuff.' He thought as he walked up to the second story. As he reached the top of the stairs he saw a strange-looking goth girl walking towards him.  
  
"Oh, gidday. How are ya?" Murto said cheerfully as they walked past eachother. She just kept on walking past, giving him the coldest eyes that he'd ever seen.  
  
Then, as she disappeared into her room a flying cat popped out and did a lap around her head.  
  
"So how are your evil scheme's coming along, Nya?" the cat said.  
  
"Hm, whatever." Murto thought. 'Hang on,' Murto thought as he replayed the scene in his mind. 'The cat SAID??? That IS weird.'  
  
Thinking nothing of it, he continued into his own room. As he did so, an extremely loud fit of evil laughter filled the 3rd story hallway.  
  
"Heh," laughed Murto out loud. "I've only been here 5 minutes and I've already heard strange noises, seen a flying and talking cat. . . thing, plus a girl who appears to be pure evil. I think I'm in for a great semester."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"....so he'll be spending some time at the Hinata Apartments with us. " Keitaro concluded, who then had a sip of his tea.  
  
"Gidday! ^v^ I'm Murto. I'm from Australia; and I wanted a bit of a change whilst going to uni. " the newcomer said, whilst flipping through his English-Japanese dictionary as fast as he could.  
  
"Finally, someone with whom I can finally speak fluent English with, " said Talon whilst stroking the fur on his chin. "I'm Talon, from America"  
  
" -_-? Umm, what the hell is that? I didn't know that there were tigers in Japan, let alone talking one's?"  
  
"Like I said, I'm Talon. My girlfriend Tori turned me into a weretiger a short while ago. Don't worry, I managed to get my hands on some Magic Pink Pixie Dust © and I can control my transformations now."  
  
"That was the Tap Dancing Goldfish incident, that entire thing was your idea!" yelled Keitaro.  
  
"No it wasn't, you were the one who bought the stupid fish in the first place!" Talon yelled back, promptly turning back into human form, though dressed as a Jedi.  
  
"Ok, whatever you like to believe. But everyone knows it's all y- Kuso!" Keitaro swore as he ran to escape the freshly ignited blade of a pissed-off weretiger/jedi. Both disappeared down the hallway.  
  
"Oooh! A foreigner!!," said Suu as she popped out of nowhere, hanging upside down from the ceiling. "Where are you from? Did you bring food? Ooh, what's this? Ah, it looks like a passport! Hmm, Australian, Age-"  
  
"Hey! Give that back! That's mine!" he exclaimed rather annoyed if not confused.  
  
"Ohayo..Murto-san!! Wow! Your 6'4"! That's tall!!" Suu, who had now lost interest in his passport, perched herself on top of Murto's head using it as a lookout tower.  
  
"Oi! Get off!"  
  
"I KNOW!!! I'LL USE MY LATEST INVENTION!!"  
  
"WHAT THE $#@&?? THAT LOOKS LIKE A CERTAIN INVENTION I'VE SEEN BEFORE!!!!"  
  
"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo......."  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\  
  
Notes: #1 - 1000yen is about $12.80 in Aussie dollars, or  
$8.90 in Yankee Dollars. But honestly who gives a shit.  
#2 - Cowboy Bebop reference.  
  
Hmm..so it appears that he have a newcomer (derr.it's me you dickhead). There doesn't appear to be any plot yet but don't worry, it'll get pretty awesome soon I hope. What will Suu's latest invention do to Murto-san? Will Talon eventually catch and force Keitaro into taking full responsibility for the Tap-Dancing Goldfish incident? Stick around for the next completely fucked up (and truly hilarious, the 2nd chapter is awesome) chapter of "It can only get worse.."  
  
This is my first FanFic. Please review what I've done so far, I'll read every one of them and take your suggestions into consideration. I don't mind doing requests, it makes up for when I've run out of ideas. You can email @ the address at the top of the page. If you've read up to here, then please add me to your "Favourite Authors" List. Please check out my profile too, I check out everyone elses. 


	2. What in Tarnation?

It can only get worse.......  
  
Authour: Murto (I hate 2 kinds of people in this world; people who are intolerant of other cultures, and the dutch)  
  
Authour's Notes: My first fanfic, I dunno if you'll find my sense of humour funny, but well here goes. This fanfic of mine is just gonna be another fucked up and hopefully hilarious Love Hina one.  
  
Enjoy, please email any criticism to "thatsthesoundofinevitability@yahoo.com.au".  
  
When is someone gonna start doing some Full Metal Panic or some Psychic Academy FanFiction?  
  
Disclaimer:I don't own Love Hina, fortunately for you lot.  
Otherwise it would have gotten very fucked up, VERY quickly. :)  
Oh well, what can you say. I am an Arts student afterall. Nor  
have I bought the rights to any other authours or their jokes.  
Comeon! This is Authour Space!, in cyberspace!.  
  
Who cares, as long as we get a laugh!!! =^v^=  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ IT CAN ONLY GET WORSE Chapter 2: What in Tarnation? Version 2 (no changes, but I fixed up the formatting errors)  
  
"Ugghh..Ok..Kei..ta...ro,..I..give..up" panted Talon  
  
"Yeah, I..give...up..too," says an exhausted Keitaro. "Let's just agree that it was both my fault and yours"  
  
"Whatever," said a contented Talon whilst extinguishing his lightsaber. "Say, Keitaro."  
  
"Hai"?  
  
"Is the hot spring a part of your normal escape route?"  
  
"Not really, I just..run...randomly"  
  
"Ok. Say Keitaro, I'm guessing that from that last comment of yours that you don't put much thought into your escape routes."  
  
"Not..really. Like..I said..I just...run randomly."  
  
"Ok. Say Keitaro, got your breath back yet?"  
  
"No..Not really."  
  
"YOU PERVERTS!!!!" yelled Naru, cracking her knuckles whilst getting out of the hot spring.  
  
"Too bad, bye!" Talon said rather Rimmer-ishly (#1), transforming into a weretiger leaving all his Jedi powers behind him, along with a doomed Keitaro.  
  
"Uh oh, spaggettios" shrieked a rather mortified Keitaro before making an attempt to escape. Being his usual clumsy self however he slipped on the water..  
  
PPPPOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!  
  
"Wow Naru! That has to be a new record!!!" complimented Motoko.  
  
"Nah, I've done better. Remember when we went on Celebrity Deathmatch?"  
  
"Ara, that was fun!" said Mutsumi.  
  
"I heard you copped a steel chair to the head, you call that fun?" asked Kitsune  
  
"Yeah, I agree. Your uncouth tactics Mutsumi, using a t-t-turtle, and that Tittie twister of Doom © move of yours was a pain in the as- woah!!!" Motoko said whilst being pulled under water, leaving only a few bubbles behind.  
  
A few seconds later, Kanako Urashima's head popped up from where Motoko was. "Motoko and I have some.err.special underwater-training to do. Yeah, that's it!." she said, promptly putting on a snorkel and diving back underwater.  
  
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggghhhhh.....t. That was, weird." commented Naru  
  
"I think we should get out of this hot spring before the water becomes more dirty than it already is." said a rather disgusted Kitsune.  
  
"Ara," said Mutsumi as she was drying off. "Kanako said that she could go for 10 hours straight and not break out in a sweat."  
  
"You, w-w-what?" Naru said, shocked.  
  
"Hai, I was amazed. I could never run that far."  
  
Kitsune and Naru fell over, knocked down by the stupidity of Mutsumi's comment and/or the authours writing.  
  
"Hello, I'm Kentaro Sakata. Honestly the authour isn't doing a very good job of writing original material. Everything in this chapter so far has been based on someone else's work. Also, did you honestly believe that someone would come falling and crash into the hot springs full of pretty girls? I mean, come on. Get real you guys..Ooh that feels good!!" Kentaro said, blushing bright red.  
  
"Umm, I'll be going now." Kentaro finished, donning some SCUBA gear then disappearing underwater.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Noooo! Suu! Arrggghh!!!" pleaded Murto, whose powers were neutralised by Suu's latest invention.  
  
"Comeon!!! It'll be fun ^v^ !" Suu said as she danced around. She then pressed a big red button on her remote control. "GO!"  
  
"Arrgghh!!! Hey!! I'M MOVING! Suu, I'm not a giant remote control car!"  
  
"You're my first victim of my latest invention! My Mecha-tama mind control helmet!" Suu said pointing to the turtle shaped helmet on Murto's head.  
  
"No, not the 3rd story window, NOOOOoooooo..!!!!!"  
  
With this, Suu smiled evillishly whilst pressing the "forward" button on her remote control. Murto then walked off the 3rd story window ledge and fell....  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"yyyyyyaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" yelled the hapless Aussie Otaku as he proceeded to fall on top of Mutsumi, Naru and Kitsune, the latter two being already on the ground.  
  
"Keeeeeeeiiiiiiiitaaaaaaarrrrrrrooooooooo!!!!" Naru angrily said, eyebrow twitching.  
  
"Wait, it's Murto!. The new bloke; just moved in today. That's right, they speak Japanese." Murto reached for his Eng-Jap dictionary. "Noo! Can't move!"  
  
"HENTAI!!!!" Naru yelled as she wound up one of her famous celestial punches. Murto winced.  
  
Then, Suu found out about one of his authour-space powers..#2  
  
Everything went to slow motion, Murto proceeded to dodge Naru's punch as if she was an old lady laden down with glue.  
  
"Shit" Murto thought to himself. "Suu has figured out how to control my Bullet-Time . Good thing it's only one of my powers. My other powers will be more difficult to figure out.."  
  
Then, everything returned to normal time..  
  
"Nani?" questioned Naru " What the hell happened"  
  
"Ara?" said Mutsumi  
  
"Watch out Naru!" said Silver, who was just walking in on the scene. "Bullet Time appears to be one of his authour-space powers!"  
  
"Oh!" Naru answered quite abruptly.  
  
"and.SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!!!!!" screeched Silver, brandishing a Zarking Photon pistol.  
  
"What the Zarking Photon is that?" said Murto, not moving because Suu is too intently watching the scenario unfold from the 3rd story window.  
  
"IT'S A FUCKING ZARKING PHOTON PISTOL, NOW GET ON THE GROUND YOU MOTHERFUCKERS, EVERY FUCKING LAST ONE OF YA!" screamed Silver.  
  
"I love you honey bunny!" said Seta, appearing from nowhere.  
  
"I love you too, pumpkin" said Silver, kissing Seta hungrily.  
  
"Come on, this is a blatant rip-off and a half of a certain movie we all know. I mean, get real you guys." said Kentaro, emerging from the hot spring.  
  
Notes: #1 - This is a word I invented just now, meaning Rimmer- like.  
Rimmer is a character from the UK show "Red Dwarf", who  
is a coward. WATCH RED DWARF!!!  
#2 - Yes, so Bullet-Time is one of my powers. Boo frickety hoo.  
  
Other Notes: There was a lot of material in this chapter that is based on stuff that isn't mine. Examples are Pulp Fiction, Austin Powers (Riiiiiiiggggt. . . t) and the work of other authors. L8er!  
  
Sooo, a whole 2 hours after completing the 1st chapter, Murto has exceeded himself as far as Fan Fiction goes. Whats the go between Seta and "Honey Bunny"? What does Kentaro have to do with Motoko and Kanako's submarinal relationship? What the fuck IS a Zarking Photon Pistol? What does Suu plan to do with her Mecha-Tama Mind Control Machine? Find out in Murto's 3rd and probably more fucked up chapter of "It can only get worse.."  
  
This is my first FanFic. Please review what I've done so far, I'll read every one of them and take your suggestions into consideration. I don't mind doing requests, it makes up for when I've run out of ideas. You can email @ the address at the top of the page. If you've read up to here, then please add me to your "Favourite Authours" List. Please check out my profile too, I check out everyone elses. 


	3. Murto faces his demons

It Could Only Get Worse........  
  
Author: Murto ( Q: When is a door, not a door? A: When it's open. Damn! Can we erase that bit?)  
  
*Editor shakes head*  
  
Murto: You bastard!  
  
[Hang on, that bastard editor is me!!]  
  
*Steals Talon's Positron Rifle*  
  
Murto: That's It! I've had it with this world!!  
  
Author's Notes: This is my first FanFic ever blah blah blah.... you know the drill. I don't own anything from here on in except my fucked-upedness. (Yes that IS a word. I invented it, along with FuckTarded (Fuck and Retarded). Rootooted isn't however (Rooted and Retarded), a friend of mine invented that one. Ahh, the words us muso's invent whilst doing shouts at the Uni Club........  
  
Hopefully the formatting errors were fixed up in this chapter. The last 2 chapters were rather difficult to read. Thanks to Talon, Viva239 and British Dragon (to name a few) for the reviews. I also apologise for the mis-spelling of the word "Author" in the previous chapters, but I don't for "Mum", "Colour" "Favourite" "Tyre" and "Apologise". Isn't Australian- English Grouse? *1*  
  
*sigh* Myuu, Myuu, Myuu......  
  
This ISN'T a Tama-chan reference, it's a reference to Myuu from Psychic Academy. She is, in my opinion at least, the single most desirable Anime chick to ever grace our screens......  
  
Anyway, let us soldier on!  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\ It Could Only Get Worse Chapter 3: Murto faces his demons........  
  
"SHUT UP!!!!" was the sound that we all heard as we watched Naru send Kentaro flying clear over the abandoned annex.  
  
"DAMMIT WOMAN!! You've gone and knocked the shit out of our sex toy!!!" whinged a disgruntled Motoko and Kanako in unison.  
  
"Who the hell cares, he's a minor character anyway....." retaliated our red- headed trebuchet. " AND WHO'S THE RED-HEADED TREBUCHET??? YOU STUPID AUTHOR!!!!!"  
  
Sorry, I mean our hot-tempered, though pretty-damn-sexy-for-an-Anime-chick- if-you-ask-me.......  
  
"HEEEEENNNNNNNTTTAAAAAAAIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she bitched as she proceeded to leap out of the page and smack him a good one around the head. (STOP THINKING DIRTY!!!, tch I dunno. I'm tryin to write decent sounding stuff and sentences like that last one ruin it all!!)  
  
"Naru no baka!!! Now look what you've done, you've gone and knocked what little sanity he had left right out of his head!!!" complained Murto-san, who was still unable to move because of Suu's Mecha-Tama Mind Control Helmet.  
  
"You're the baka!!! Your the author himself!! Though personified in Author- space....."  
  
"Baka baka. I'm surrounded by fools. " said Ruri with no expression on her face as she popped out of nowhere....*2*  
  
"Who was that? Anyway, now that you've sent Kentaro flying we've lost our sex toy!" whinged Kanako yet again....  
  
"I don't care, not my problem...." said Naru  
  
"Yes it is, because unless you get us some AA batteries for our replacement I'll use one of my most powerful techniques...." Motoko blackmailed, as she began to draw her Katana.  
  
"Yoink!!!" exclaimed Murto as he used the opportunity to steal the Katana before Motoko had it at the ready.  
  
"What the.....?" was the collective response as Murto ran to a safe distance and started jumping around and dancing in celebration. Up in the 3rd story window, Kitsune and Suu could be seen cheering and high-fiving each other.  
  
"Suu? Kitsune? What the hell?" Motoko asked, still disbelieving that Murto managed to nick her Katana.  
  
"It's Kaolla's latest invention, the Mind Control thingee whatsit. Now I have Motoko's sword!! cheered Kitsune. "And it'll probably fetch quite a price on the black market too!"  
  
"Bye for now!" said Kaolla as the pair made a break for it. They were at the advantage because they were already on the 3rd floor. Sara ran in, took the sword from Murto's prone fingers then buggered off as well.  
  
"The conspiring little-" said Silver, who still happened to be standing at the doorway. Still holding her Zarking Photon pistol.  
  
"Ooh, I'll take that too!" Sara said, smiling devilishly whilst taking the aforementioned pistol out of Silver's still utterly shocked hands.  
  
"Hey, you bitch! Come back here!! I'll tear you a new colon!!!!  
  
Then, out of the blue, Shinobu walked in singing "He was a Sk8er boi, she said see you l8er boi. He wasn't good enough for her........"  
  
"Uggghhhh. " grunted Murto, writhing in pain. Sara, Silver, the Pistol and the Katana long gone by now, leaving only Murto,Shinobu, Motoko and Naru.  
  
"What's wrong with him?" Naru thought to herself. Judging by the expression on Motoko's face, the kendo girl was thinking the same thing.  
  
"W-What's wrong M-Murto-sempai?" asked Shinobu  
  
"That___evil___top_40_____music!!!!" he said, growing more mentally unstable with every minute that passes. "It___BURNS___!!!"  
  
He clutched his head in pain, doing what would seem to be a fucked up and more painful version of the "Rainman" thing. *3*  
  
Talon then burst in, still in his weretiger persona, saying "Run you fools.....!".  
  
"IT BEGINNNNNSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" roared a utterly mortified and thoughourly in pain Murto as a disconcerting orange glow started to eminate from his enraged torso.  
  
Just as Talon and the girls were going through the changing rooms, Murto started yelling something chronic. Then, as they were running up the stairs to the 2nd story, a fine black line appeared in the air in front of them. Out of it emerged an arm, which was pulling Murto through what now appeared to be a temporal rift. Suu's Mecha-Tama Mind Control Helmet was broken, phssszzzting bits of electricity as it could no longer control Murto in his unusual state.....  
  
"Heeeerrrreeeee''''s Johnny!!!!" said the Author in question. His eyes glowing deep orange as he pulls himself through Hammer Space....  
  
"Now THAT is fucked up, I should find out how he does that..." Talon remarked, pulling a notepad out of his own Hammer Space and jotting things down.  
  
"Not now!!" yelled Naru at Talon, as Murto was pulling his right leg through. His foot got caught however, causing him to lose his balance and tumble away from the trio, down the hallway.  
  
"Hang on, I've got my backup sword. I'll vanquish this demon..." said an enraged Motoko as she unsheathed her backup. "Yaaaarrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!".  
  
It was at that moment that Silver and Sara appeared on the other side of the hallway, obviously still in mid-chase. They stopped however, after seeing Murto get to his feet and turn towards them. It was at this time that a fly chose to buzz into Silver's mouth as she began to speak.  
  
"Umm, *cough* *gag* *splutter*. cough. cHELLO!" said Silver, trying to say "Hello" whilst doing what sounded like coughing up a furball. *4*  
  
Murto returned to normal. "Hey guys, what's up?" /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\BAAAAAAAAAMMM!!!!!!!/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\ was what was heard as Motoko, who was in the middle of her "Special Technique: Demon Vanquishing Sword" smacked Murto with a blast of Ki from her sword.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"What I wanna know is how the hell you managed to pull yourself through your own Hammer Space. " stated Talon as he was holding his tape recorder and microphone, eagerly awaiting Murto's response.  
  
"Mmph mmph mmph mmph!!" muffled Murto from underneath his bandages, which covered 90% of his body. After copping the full brunt of Motoko's attack, Murto was now bed ridden. Unable to speak, with his limbs on slings hanging from the ceiling etc.....  
  
"Screw that, I wanna know what caused and brought him out of that trance." said Silver, knocking Talon out of the way. "Didn't you ever hear of 'Ladies first'?".  
  
"Ladies first? I wouldn't call li'l miss 'Save the day by regurgitating' a lady" yelled Talon, becoming increasingly more and more angry.  
  
"Eat my Zarking Photon pistol, Mr Tiger-man!!" replied Silver, reaching for the pistol that is no longer kept in her holster.  
  
"Heh heh heh!! Who's the dummy now!!*5 You got you pistol stolen and I didn't....nya nya nya" boasted Talon as he danced childishly around the room.  
  
"Mmph mmph mmph......" moaned Murto, as he sweatdropped big-time......  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  
  
Notes: *1 - "Grouse" is Australian slang for Good or Awesome.  
Similar to "Bonza". Sometimes comes with a thumbs up. Eg.  
Geez it's Grouse at Hardware House!  
*2 - This is a Martian Successor: Nadesico reference.  
*3 - You know, the "Rainman" thing where that crazy guy starts  
smacking himself in the head, yelling. Aah, aah, aah, aah.  
Simpsons fans will also know what I'm on about........  
*4 - The solution to another of Murto's fucked up author-  
powers. cHello is taken from a song by "The Cat Empire", an  
Aussie band out of Melbourne. Whenever Murto hears crappy music  
he undergoes a transformation as seen above, making him  
psychotic and deranged. In this state he is able to pull  
himself out of Hammer Space, but his other powers are useless.  
He can only be returned to normal by hearing music by the  
aforementioned band or the "Hilltop Hoods", an Aussie Hip-hop  
outfit. And yes, cHello is meant to sound like someone dry-  
retching!  
*5 - This is a line from the movie "Major Payne"  
  
Sooo, you tell me. There are no frayed bits anymore, but at least that chapter had a plot!!! Probably not as funny as my 2nd Chapter (honestly, that rocked), but I'm slowly getting the hang of Fan Fiction. Will Tama, Haitani, Shirai and Haruka actually make an appearance? Coming soon (after Christmas at least), Chapter 4!!! More fun, more fucked-upedness!!! More Insanity!!!  
  
Myuu: Murto!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!! DONT DO IT!!!  
  
Myuu ran frantically to stop Murto from killing himself with the Positron Rifle.  
  
Myuu: I LOVE YOU MURTO!!!!  
  
Murto: *turning around, cooking sausages with the nuclear gun* Sorry Myuu? What's that you said?  
  
PLEASE REVIEW MY WORK!!!! YOUR INPUT MAKES IT BETTER!! SEND ME YOUR IDEAS TOO! 


	4. Flybuy Points

It could only get worse - Chapter 4  
  
Author: Murto (When would the time machine be invented? If you think about it people would just buy one, go back in time and change things so that THEY invented it.)  
  
Myuu: *hand on forehead* Murto Murto Murto. What is your obsession with time machines?  
  
Murto: What obsession?  
  
Myuu: Hmm, let me see. What about the time machine on a network card?  
  
Murto: You gotta admit that WOULD be cool. You'd receive the packets before they're even sent..  
  
Myuu: * Hands Murto a beer * Here, take this and shut up.  
  
Murto: What about my Nuclear Sub-woofer?  
  
Myuu: Go get a fucking life  
  
Author's Notes: Blah de blah blah blah. If I owned Love Hina you would be VERY scared, Mwahahahahahaaaaa. Chapter 4 is here and hopefully it should please. Please send reviews, because if people want me to continue this thingee I'm quite happy to. If you want me to stop, you can go fuck yourselves. I'll keep this going until I'M happy with it, or get bored. I'll also try to keep updates as regular as once a week, sometimes 2 or 3 a week if I'm bored or maybe only once a fortnight if things get busy (like one of my jobs).  
  
I've also updated Chapters 1 and 2, fixing up the mis-spelling of "Author" as well as adjusting the formatting problems. Sorry about before, I just didn't press "Enter" enough.  
  
Myuu: Get on with it!  
  
The FanFiction-loving public: YES!! GET ON WITH IT!!!  
  
Murto: Alright already...  
  
Murto: * About to start * BANZAI!!!!!  
  
Murto's Computer: "Windows has detected that you need to get on with it"  
  
Murto: Shut up!  
  
Murto's Computer: "Windows cannot find the file or folder named 'Windows', please go fuck yourself and try again"  
  
Murto: I'll show you!!!  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\  
  
It Could Only Get Worse  
  
Chapter 4: Fly-Buy Points  
  
"What!! You actually eat this crap???" Kitsune said, raising her voice whilst in the classic Anime 'Shock' pose.  
  
"Yeah. Most Aussies love the stuff." Murto said, spreading his anonymus black paste on his toast.  
  
"But the colour is all wrong, plus with a name like 'Wedgemite' something's gotta be suss. Then there's the taste", Kitsune moaned, rinsing her mouth with a jumbo-size container of mouthwash.  
  
"Don't make such a fuss, they're just accustomed to it," Shinobu said in Murto's defence. "They were brought up on it, besides it goes well in stews."  
  
"W-W-WHAT!!" Kitsune yelled. "You mean to say that you've been putting that stuff into our stew???"  
  
"Yeah, I got Shinobu to try it. It really adds to the flavour," Murto said as Naru walked into the kitchen. Murto almost choked to death on his remaining piece of toast as he told Kitsune and Shinobu to be quiet.  
  
"Ohayo, Naru-senpai" Shinobu chirped.  
  
"Ohayo," Naru grumbled. "That perverted idiot Keitaro walked into the hot springs again this morning. Allegedly he was going to clean the place, but I showed him."  
  
Naru cracked her knuckles, then marched over to the 'fridge and started drinking the milk from it's bottle.  
  
"Hey, cut the guy some slack." Murto said whilst hiding the jar of 'Wedgemite'. "Here, try this."  
  
Naru just stared blankly, trying to figure out what the blacky-brown colour that filled the dessertspoon was. Murto and Kitsune were leaning in awaiting Naru's reaction whilst Shinobu looked away, afraid of what might happen.  
  
Naru swallowed the Wedgemite. Her face crumpled like a tetrajuice container being sucked dry, then she turned blue. Murto was sniggering, Kitsune was laughing out loud, slapping her knee.  
  
Then Naru turned red. "YOU IDIOT!!!!!!"  
  
'Shit,' Murto thought. ' Maybe I should not have given her so much'.  
  
Blind with rage, Naru grabbed the milk bottle and smashed it on the bench. Murto bolted quicker than a speeding bullet up the back end of a bat out of hell with Naru was swinging the remanents of the bottle at him, hot on his heels.  
  
"Baka" said Ruri-ruri, popping out of nowhere.  
  
"Who IS that girl?" Kitsune said scratching her head.  
  
"yyyyyyayaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!" yelled Murto as he crash landed in the main street of Hina City.  
  
"Ooh, it's the foreigner" said Suu, poking Murto with a stick.  
  
"Ara, so it is" replied Mutsume.  
  
Mutsume, Talon and Suu picked Murto up off the footpath, their arms loaded with shopping bags full of lollies, caffinated-drinks and grog.  
  
"Owch!" Murto yelped. "I'm gonna need some of your beer after that fall. I wish Naru would give out Fly-Buy points, at least I'll be getting something out of her punches".  
  
"Were having a house-warming party of sorts tonight," Talon said. "So, what did you do to get punched this far?"  
  
"It's a long story, but the party tonight sounds good!"  
  
"Yes, Kitsune is wanting to have a drinking competition. All of us are gonna compete."  
  
"And my Mecha-Tama Super Blackmail Video Camera will give us all the footage we'll need" Suu pronounced rather energetically, as she danced in circles around the group. Murto sweatdropped.  
  
"Ara, do you like watermelons Murto-kun?" Mutsume asked.  
  
"Yes, they're great! Are they firm?  
  
"What do you think?" Talon said.  
  
Kentaro popped out of nowhere. "Aww comeon, get real you guys. Honestly the Author is having trouble thinking of gags now isn't he?"  
  
"SHUT UP," boomed the Author in question, striking fear into all of the characters. "I have a headache!! Feel the wrath of my CTRL + Z combo!!"  
  
The Author pressed Ctrl + Z.  
  
"Ara, do you like watermelons Murto-kun?" Mutsume asked.  
  
"Yes, they're great! Are they firm?  
  
"What do you think?" Talon said.  
  
"Depends on a lot of things, you got any Vodka to put in the watermelons?" Murto said, eyes lighting up.  
  
"I think we do, in here somewhere..." Talon said, rummaging through his bags.  
  
Kentaro walked past and said nothing, then sighing as they all walked out of sight.  
  
Later that morning, Murto was writing a letter home, with "The Avalanches" mixing up some Aussie-sounding beats on his stereo.  
  
Dear Mum, Dad, Trev, Dazza, Andy and Stevo.  
  
Things are great here in Japan! The lifestyle's not too bad, though the prices are bloody steep. I think I might actually start to do some uni work soon; I'll just give myself a few more days to settle in. The Japanese though, geez they're funny characters. Some of the shiela's are good sorts though don't get me wrong. The Yanks are just as weird too. I had some fun with the Wedgemite, I meant to give them too much. I don't blame them for their faces turning blue, it's wicked stuff, but it was a laugh.  
  
Everyone's having a house-warmin' party tonight in my honour. At least they've got vodka. If you want me to drink the vodka, please give no sign.  
  
Ok then, * gulp *. Ahh.  
  
Catcha Later, Murto  
  
'Hmm,' Murto thought to himself as he put the letter in an envelope and put a 50c stamp on it. 'I wonder how everyone's doing at home. Maybe I should start doing my uni stuff again. Meh, I'll just do what I usually do. Play computer games, watch Anime, read Fan Fiction and drink booze. I might do an hour of study leading up to the exam though.'  
  
"What, an hour?" Keitaro remarked, sticking his head in the door.  
  
"Huh? Shit, was I talking to myself again?" Murto said.  
  
"Yeah, but seriously you should study more than an hour a semester"  
  
"Nah, I get through no problems. What are you up to?"  
  
Keitaro looked around, as if he was gonna say something incriminating. "I was just checking out the condition of the Hinata-Sou. I've got a feeling that it's going to suffer some damage tonight."  
  
"Mate, the only thing that is going to suffer damage tonight are our brain cells and perhaps the dignity of a few people." Murto said reassuringly.  
  
"You think so?"  
  
"Yes. Oh yes. MmhmhmhmwaHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\  
  
Notes: There are none really. I've decided that rather than writing notes at the end and having to put li'l number thingee's all through my work, just email me any questions about any terminology, easter eggs or other little things you don't understand.  
  
thatsthesoundofinevitability@yahoo.com.au  
  
* Sigh * The end of another chapter, I apologise if this one wasn't as funny or fucked up as the last few. Hmm, house-warming party 'ey? Grog, Caffinated-drinks and lots of sugary goodness are apparently gonna be everywhere. What'll become of the above-mentioned combo when it's mixed with the diverse group of people at the Hinata? Exactly who's dignity will be destroyed? Stick around, grab yourself a beer whilst you load the next fucked-up chapter. Chapter 5: The Sh-sh-saga beginsh.  
  
Myuu's Computer (which for some reason looks a lot like Murto's): "Windows cannot find the file or folder named 'Windows', please go fuck yourself and try again"  
  
Myuu: Murto-kun, what have you done to my computer?  
  
Murto: Oh, nothing. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa.  
  
Myuu: It's the old switcheroo isn't it?  
  
Murto: Honestly Myuu, I didn't switch our computers around.  
  
Myuu: * Glowing red with flames eminating from her * Remember Murto, my aura is Fire.  
  
Murto: * Dodging fireballs whilst running down the hallway * Shit! Honestly Myuu I didn't. 


	5. The Shshsaga Beginsh Part 1

It Could Only Get Worse  
  
Author: Murto ( Ding-dong, another brilliant idea from the people who brought you beer milkshakes)  
  
Author's Notes: Be afraid. Be VERY afraid. That is the advice I would give you if I happened to have the rights to Love Hina. It'd probably be a mixture of Love Hina, Excel Saga and Puni Puni Poemi if I did. NOW you get the picture? I've never actually seen Puni Puni Poemi, but many years of british comedy, plus the refined humour of my grandfather amounts to at least 100 Puni Puni Poemi's.  
  
Murto: .anyway, this is my plan. Whilst everyone else is sitting around goin' "Doop be doo, doop be doop be doo. Doo do dooo. La la laaa."  
  
Myuu: *Gives a stern look and starts to eminate fire* Murto.  
  
Murto: Sorry. Anyway, when everyone is standing around going goin' "Doop be doo, doop be doop be doo. Doo do dooo. La la laaa."  
  
Myuu: *Sigh*  
  
By the way.: This is an attempt at a Pulp Fiction / Reservior Dogs style storyline, but based around the House Warming party. This is also my first FanFiction that I actually planned out in advance, all of my others I just made up on the spot in one sitting. I expect it to go for 3 parts, quite long compared to the last 4 chapters.  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  
  
It Could Only Get Worse  
  
Chapter 5: The Sh-sh-saga Beginsh - Part 1  
  
'Light. Lots of light. Brilliant white light. Ooh, a ceiling!' Murto thought as he opened his eyes to greet the morning.  
  
As his muscles got energised again, he looked at his watch. '7am? That has to be a record! I've never slept past 6.30am after drinking. Shit, musta had a good time,' Murto thought as he stood up. 'Stomach, okay. Head, okay. Energy levels, okay-ish. Dignity, okay, I think.'  
  
It was at this stage that Murto realised that he slept on the top 3 or 4 steps between the 2nd and 3rd story staircase, wearing a fez.  
  
'A fez? Where the hell did THIS come from?'  
  
Then, Shinobu walked past giving Murto a funny but utterly tired look. She looked fucked up, her eyes more sunken than the titanic. She shrugged and then walked downstairs.  
  
"Whatever," Murto said to himself, walking to his room to watch Anime.  
  
"KYAAAAAAAAAA!!!!," was what eminated throughout the Hinata a few seconds later.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Ok, ok, ok." Keitaro said reassuringly. "Ok, lets go through this logically".  
  
Murto, Shinobu and Talon were all sitting down in the living area downstairs, listening to what Keitaro had to say. Murto still had the fez on his head, playing with the tassle whilst humming the Evangelion theme song. Shinobu was still tired (as we all were), her eyes deep in their sockets. Talon was taking Panadol, packets and all, and washing them down with MegaLitres of water. Naru was clutching the disembodied ear of her Liddo-kun, crying, whilst Kitsune and Mutsume were still asleep. Motoko, Suu and Kanako were nowhere to be seen.  
  
"Lets just get on with it," Talon said, clutching his head. "And don't speak so loudly".  
  
"Seta's Van is in the hot springs; Naru's Liddo-kun is gone, missing an ear too; Murto woke up with a Fez on his head and we are all messed up beyond belief."  
  
"U-U-Urashima-senpai? D-d-don't you think it would be best if we all went through what we remember, and collaberate our stories?" Shinobu said, sucking down a cup of coffee; the life slowly returning to her.  
  
"Ok Murto, you go first." Talon whispered.  
  
"Why me?" Murto said.  
  
"Because if you don't I'll blame YOU for Liddo-kun," Naru said, cracking her knuckles.  
  
"Ok, ok."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
/\/\/\Murto's Version, Timeframe 1/\/\/\  
  
"Dinner's ready!" called Shinobu from the kitchen. Everyone bolted downstairs as quick as if they had won the lotto.  
  
Everyone was there, seated at the table in the dining room. Naru, Kitsune, Keitaro and Motoko were sat on one side, already helping themselves to a large roast chook. Talon, Mutsume, Suu, Haruka and a couple of spare seats were on the other.  
  
"Mmm, it's really good Shinobu!" Keitaro said as I looked around the room. Everybody else had already started gorging themselves.  
  
"Yeah, it looks great Shinobu," I said as I sat down. "You cook the most amazing food ever!".  
  
"Arigato, Murto-senpai," she replied.  
  
"It needs to be spicier," said Suu. "And it needs more bananas".  
  
"Murto," was all that Motoko said, giving me the biggest daggers I'd ever seen whilst clutching the hilt of her Katana.  
  
"Ok, ok. I get the message," I said, throwing my arms up in self-defense. "By the way Motoko, how did you get your sword back?"  
  
"I threatened Kitsune." Motoko replied, releasing her hand from the sword and pouring gravy over her roast.  
  
"Yeah, I mean how rude is that; saying you'll cut off my sake supply if I don't give it back," Kitsune complained whilst stuffing her face full of baked spuds. "You know sake is my life-blood, I almost sobered up for a moment there."  
  
"Kitsune, you're such an Alco," Talon said, popping the top off his first stubbie. "Kampai!"  
  
"Kampai!" every else chimed in, raising their glasses of beer, sake and Mountain Dew: Code Red.  
  
After everyone finished eating and after Suu stopped throwing peas at Talon, Keitaro got up to help do the dishes. He bumped into Kitsune as she was laying out the bottles of grog on the table. The entire lot fell over; spilling rum, sake and beer all over the table. Kitsune started crying, possibly having withdrawal symptoms already.  
  
"YOU IDIOT!!!" Naru yelled. "I was looking forward to that sake!"  
  
"Bloody hell Keitaro! There goes my rum!" Talon said, igniting his lightsaber.  
  
"Ara, lets go get some more." Mutsume said, smiling as usual.  
  
"Ok, I'll go too. Aunt Haruka, do you have any money?" Keitaro asked.  
  
"Just call me Haruka," she said, smacking him around the head. "I guess I'll have to come along, I'll pay with my credit card."  
  
"Ooh! Can I play too?" Suu asked, dancing in circles around the group.  
  
"Sure, why not." Keitaro said.  
  
"Ara, if 2's company and 3's a crowd, is 4 a mosh pit?" Mutsume asked dumbly.  
  
"Lets just go already," Haruka said, sweatdropping.  
  
Haruka, Keitaro, Mutsume and Suu left.  
  
"I'm going to watch some TV." Motoko announced, grabbing a carton of Moutain Dew: Code Red.  
  
"Senpai, can I watch too?" Shinobu asked, holding the Excel Saga boxed set of DVD's in her hand.  
  
"Why, Shinobu. I woulda never have guessed that you were an Excel Saga fan." Kitsune said, lapping up the sake that had formed some little puddles on the table.  
  
Shinobu just blushed, and walked out with Motoko. I just thought 'Well bugger me' and got up to do some power drinking.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"But sheriously, there's nothing quicker than a quick fit fitter." I said, taking another shot of vodka.  
  
"Murto, are you saying you suffer from epilepsy?" Kitsune asked, pouring some vodka for herself.  
  
"Nah, I've just been watching Aussie Tv. It's an ad for a tyre company."  
  
"By the way Murto, it was awfully nice of you to share your vodka with us." Naru said, making a screwdriver.  
  
"Meh, it's just my private stash. Besides, I couldn't be bothered waiting until the other 4 get back."  
  
Then there was a knock, knock, knocking on my chamber door.  
  
"Who thou goest there?" Talon said, lamenting over poor Lenore.  
  
"Hi," Seta said, blood streaming down his head. "I heard you guys are having a party here?"  
  
"Yeah, sort of." Said Naru, her face slightly flushed from the alcohol or Seta. Probably a bit of both I thought.  
  
"Is Ms Haruka around?"  
  
Then a rock smacked him in the back of the head.  
  
"Just call me Haruka" was heard, way off in the distance.  
  
"No, she's gone to get some more drink." Talon said pulling out his mobile, texting a person or persons unknown.  
  
"Ok, hey! What are they watching in there?" Seta said, walking across the room and peeking into the lounge room.  
  
"Excel Saga I think. Watch out though, there is ALOT of Mountain Dew: Code Red and Jolt Cola in there." Kitsune warned, her liver of steel not yet feeling the affects of the vodka. Then Motoko and Shinobu could be heard yelling 'Honey, Noodles, Na hana ha' at the top of their lungs.  
  
"Shit! Looks like they're up to episode 21 already!" I commented as I began to feel the lovely warmth that anti-freeze, I mean vodka gives one.  
  
"Wow! Ok, see you guys later." Seta said as he disappeared into the room amid crys of 'Hail Il Pallatzo!'.  
  
I grabbed the bottle and poured myself a vodka and blue pepsi. Kitsune held out her glass and I filled it up. Naru grabbed the bottle and finished it off.  
  
"Hey watch it Naru, that's half a bottle of straight vodka!" Talon said, slowly edging away.  
  
"Heh heh heh. Don't worry Talon," I said. "The night is still young.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
/\/\/\Back to the living room the next morning/\/\/\  
  
"Are you sure that's what happened?" Keitaro said after getting off the phone with the local 'Alcodol' supplier. (Alcodol is a hangover preventative drug)  
  
"Yeah, we talked for a bit more after that. We couldn't drink anything else until you guys came back from the bottler," Murto explained. "And Motoko, Shinobu and Seta were getting smashed on caffiene and Excel Saga next in the lounge room."  
  
"Hai, Murto-senpai is right," Shinobu agreed.  
  
"What happened after that part of the evening?" Keitaro asked.  
  
"When you guys came back, everyone moved around. Naru and Kitsune left for the hot springs and I remember a lot of other stuff was going on all over the place." Murto said, trying his hardest to remember. "You and Mutsume came and hung with us for a bit, and you guys were already pretty wasted. Talon will verify that, he was almost sober until that stage."  
  
"Yeah, the cockroach finished the vodka. I didn't see a drop." Talon remarked.  
  
"Who cares!" Naru yelled as she gave him a half-arsed Naru-Punch.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
/\/\/\Murto's Version, Timeframe 2/\/\/\  
  
"40seconds!!Aww,Iwantitnow!!" Motoko yelled as she ran around without her Gi on, though she was taped up as usual. Shinobu was hot on her heels yelling "Motoko-senpai,comebackandputonyourGi.You'llcatchacold!". Then they both disappeared up the stairs yelling "Aah! Watch out for the rabid monkey butler!".  
  
'Whatever,' I thought as I emptied the bottle of vodka into a hole I'd made in the watermelon.  
  
"Ara, Murto-kun. Are you sure this is okay?" Mutsume asked, partially upset at the thought of ruining one of her watermelons.  
  
"This makesh them alcoholic, and very juishy." Talon said, holding the cleaver.  
  
"DUDE!! Don't use that! Your too drunk, gimme your lightshaber!" I said.  
  
After a short thumb wrestle, I gave up and went to reload my foam-dome. By the time we'd finished however it was already cut and Mutsume was already digging in.  
  
"Hey, using force powers to cut watermelons is cheating!" I argued.  
  
"I didn't, honestly." Talon replied.  
  
"Ara, thish ish goooooooooo.d," Mutsume said, almost instantly smashed from the strength of the uber-melon. "TALLY-KUN!!!"  
  
Mutsume jumped and landed on top of Talon, and it appeared that she was absolutely gone. I began to think that the uber-melon was a bad idea; Keitaro had disappeared behind the lounge suite and the Mutsume was now paralytic on top of Talon. She hadn't passed out yet, she was mumbling to herself in Turtle-speak.  
  
"Myuu, myu, myu, myu!" she said, her eyes not focusing.  
  
Painful groaning was heard coming from 2 directions; the direction of Talon who was feeling sick after Mutsume and alcohol, and that of the lounge which sounded like Keitaro.  
  
'Honestly' I thought, 'Mutsume and Keitaro already fucking para, and Talon's not much better.'  
  
"HEY!!!KANAKO!!!STOPTALKINGTOSUU!!!COMEHEREANDBE MY BITCHFORACHANGE!!!" Motoko yelled from upstairs.  
  
"MOTOKO-SENPAI!!!PUTYOURCLOTHESBACKON!!!" Shinobu yelled as loud thumps could be heard from the floor above.  
  
"Oh well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!" Murto said, taking a triple dose of Vodka and Red Bull and began chasing flying goldfish around the coffee table.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
/\/\/\Back to the present/\/\/\  
  
"Murto, is it just me or ARE YOU FUCKED IN THE HEAD?" Talon said, brandishing his weretiger claws.  
  
"Talon! If you kill him we may never know who or what fucked up Seta's van and my Liddo-kun." Naru said, drawing her right arm backwards.  
  
"G-g-get on with it, Murto-senpai." Shinobu said, still in disbelief in her apparent state the previous night.  
  
"Yes! Get on with it before she spanks the weretiger!" Talon pleaded.  
  
"Why, you PERVERT!!!" Naru screamed, indeed spanking the weretiger through the wall out into a patch of bindii on the front lawn.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
/\/\/\Murto's Version, Timeframe 3/\/\/\  
  
'Hmm, that's strange,' I thought as I looked at my watch. "Isn't it amazing that vodka and Red Bull can make 2 or 3 hours just vanish?'.  
  
I sat up, not quite as drunk or caffinated as before. My muscles had given up in the laundry. Why I thought flying goldfish would be hiding in the laundry completely evades me, but I got up and returned to the living room to see what was happening.  
  
Kitsune and Shinobu were at the table. Kitsune was rather drunk and was trying to get Shinobu in a similar state. Talon's agonising screams could be heard off in the distance with Naru's 'GET BACK HERE' in more or less the same direction. Motoko, Mutsune and Keitaro were nowhere to be seen.  
  
"Here Shinobu, try this." Kitsune said, holding up a bright green bubbling alcohol.  
  
Hang on, bright green bubbling alcohol?  
  
"HEY! That's my drink I invented! I call it "The Hulk"." I complained.  
  
"Hey, it's just beer and blue pepsi," Kitsune grinned devilishly. "Besides, it's gone public".  
  
I looked around to see dozens of glasses laden with the telltale green crusty dregs of my drink. 'Oh well, good secrets are best shared around I suppose' I thought.  
  
"Murto, where's Silver and David? They said they were coming didn't they?" Kitsune asked, mixing up a few more litres of the good stuff.  
  
"Silver is off drinking with Haitani and Shirai apparently and honestly I wouldn't be surprised if David is playing Final Fantasy 7 in his room." I replied, loading the vodka into an intravenous drip.  
  
"Mmm,GoOdGoOdGoOd!VeRyGoOd," Shinobu said, trying to get as much of the green stuff in her gob as possible.  
  
"Maybe giving her alcohol AND large amounts of caffiene at such a young age isn't a good idea?" I suggested to Kitsune.  
  
"MMMMUUUURRRRTTTOOO-KUUUNN!!!!" Shinobu squeeked as she gave me a roundhouse kick before smacking me to the ground, my bones leaving something to be desired as they made a destinctive crunch.  
  
"Dammit Kitsune!! Give me a beer before my nerves start sending my brain those annoying 'Pain' messages!"  
  
"Comin' right up!" she said, chucking me a beer.  
  
"COME BACK HERE YOU PERVERTED, HORNY-GOAT-WEED-INFESTED TIGER!!" Naru yelled as she chased Talon out to the hot springs.  
  
'What the fuck?' I thought, getting up and stumbling over towards the hot springs.  
  
"MURTY, MURTY, MURTYYYYYYY!!!!!" Shinobu said clinging to my leg something chronic, very drunk and very Mountain Dewed.  
  
" 'nobu-chan, can I have my leg back? I'm too drunk, it's hard enough to walk already!" I said, kicking my leg trying to shake her loose. It was all in vane however, 'cuz she wasn't letting go.  
  
I just sighed and continued over to the 'springs with Shinobu hanging on to my leg squealing something about the attack of the rolling-pin people. The scene I saw before me when I got there wasn't very original; Naru was chasing Talon around the hot springs in circles, around and around and around and around and around (I'm sure you get the picture). Motoko and Kanako were goin' at it like jackrabbits in the middle of the 'spring, and Mutsume and Keitaro could be seen climbing tree's with shovels. Being drunk, and also because I had nothing better to do, I started chasing Naru. I don't know why.  
  
Author: Probably because you have a soft spot for nearly all the girls in the series?  
  
"Yeah, I'll drink to that!"  
  
Shinobu, now shaken free was chasing me yelling 'MuRtO-kUn!' and talking really fast. Kitsune wasn't far behind her, holding various bottles yelling 'Hey! What about the drinking competition?'. The chase didn't make sense to anyone, but it was obvious that running around in circles wasn't getting anyone anywhere. Talon force-jumped up to the 2nd story window, Naru cursing and heading for the stairs.  
  
I followed suit, as did Shinobu and Kitsune.  
  
"Come back you cheating bastard!!" Naru yelled, grabbing a deck of playing cards. She threw them one at a time, really quickly, turning her into a machine gun. Each card lodged into the wall Indiana Jones style (you know, with those pygmy dudes with the spears?)  
  
Shinobu was ecstatic, she somehow acquired the ability to run on the ceiling. 'Probably the green stuff' I though, narrowly evading her desperate grasps for 'Murty-kun'.  
  
"Stop right there Shinobu!" Kitsune yelled, as everything went black.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
/\/\/\Back to the Present, again/\/\/\  
  
".and that's all I have to say about that." Murto finished.  
  
"THAT DOESN'T EXPLAIN ANYTHING!!" Naru screamed hysterically as she tried to insert the refridgerator in him.  
  
"Hmm, it seems that Shinobu is right. In order for the whole thing to make sense we'll have to hear someone else's story." Keitaro said, looking for the refridgerator cream in the first aid kit.  
  
"Ok, so who's next?" Talon asked, looking around the lounge room.  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\  
  
Notes: See last chapter. I couldn't be bothered, so just email me. Notice how I have put stuff in brackets occaisionally, but they are just for baka's.  
  
Alrighty then, we have yet another chapter! It'll be another 2 parts after this one for the story to be rounded off, probably of comparible length. I have already decided who's next. Soo; Kanako is Motoko's bitch for a change? Rabid monkey butlers? Honey, noodles, na hana ha? Will Seta's now submarinal van, the disembodied Liddo-kun and Murto's fez EVER be explained?  
  
Coming soon (Between chrissie and new years probably)!!! It Could Only Get Worse - Chapter 6: The Sh-sh-saga Continuesh (Part 2)  
  
Myuu: *Sigh and sweatdrop* You should really stop watching the Simpsons  
  
Murto: I haven't watched it in months.  
  
Myuu: *Mega-sweatdrop* You really haven't been the same since starting Music at uni you know that?  
  
Murto: I'm not crazy, everyone else is just too normal.  
  
Myuu: *Picks up phone and dials* Hello? Is this Baille Henderson?  
  
PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF MY NEW CHAPTERS ARE ANY GOOD!!! 


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